I was watching Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations: Cairo yesterday and he was waxing poetic about a super simple dish called “kushari” that is essentially Cario’s fast/comfort food. There are a few variations of kushari throughout the region, and I remember having this a number of times but not knowing what it was called–just remembering how damn good it was. Extraordinarily cheap, rapid and very easy to make, it can be very high carb, but is also very high in protein. I skipped the make-the-hot-sauce portion and used Trader Joe’s fab spicy tomato chutney which is a) great, b) pre-made, and c) rather close to the way I remember the sauce tasting when I first had this dish, so again, TJ’s FTW.

INGREDIENTS:

• 1lb dried brow lentils
• 1 12oz can garbanzos
• 2 cups dried short-grain rice of choice (but I see quinoa working well here too)
• 1/2 lb spaghetti of choice
• 1/2 lb elbow macaroni of choice
• 1 extra large or 2 med sweet onions, sliced thinly
• 2 tbsp olive or peanut oil
• 1 bullion cube
• 4 garlic cloves, chopped
• 1 pint apple cider (or white) vinegar
• 1 tbsp brown sugar
• 1 lemon (cut into wedges)

Sauce Options

• 1 can tomato sauce
• 1 tsp-tbsp of chili powder
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp curry powder

-OR-

• Trader Joe’s Spicy Tomato Chutney

DIRECTIONS:

1. Prepare pastas per package directions and set aside.
2. Prepare rice per package directions, but dissolve bullion cube into cooking water before adding rinsed rice.
3. Peel and chop garlic and add to bottle of vinegar, along with brown sugar. As this ages, it will get a more intense garlic flavor.
4. Prepare lentils per package instructions.
5. Heat garbanzos in stove-pot or microwave to cook through and slightly soften.
6. Using a mandolin or by hand, slice onion(s) thinly and fry in oil until dark brown and caramelized.
7. If making hot sauce, simmer tomato sauce in a pot with seasonings added.

TO SERVE:

In a large bowl, add rice, then pastas. Spoon lentils to cover half the bowl, then garbanzos on the other half. Top liberally with fried onions and tomato sauce. Serve hot with vinegar condiment and a lemon wedge.

Yes, it’s carbapalooza, but also has a great deal of protein with the lentils and garbanzos. I think you can reduce the carb impact by using brown rice and whole wheat pasta. Bourdain says it sits in your stomach like a bag of nickels. I don’t see that as a bad thing…

This recipe is in the “easier than falling off a log” category, subcategory: OMFG.

Quinoa is apparently the proteiniest thing ever. Like protein in protein sauce on a bed of leafy proteins garnished with protein artfully shaped into an elaborate flower that looks suspiciously like a molecular diagram of a protein.

All I know is it’s like nature’s own couscous, and it’s damned nummy.

I went looking for a simple rice-based dish that could be adapted to my new protein-rich friend. I was going to do a paella or a pilaf, but I wanted something that could be assembled super-quickly, thereby qualifying for the regular last-minute dinner rotation. Luckily, I found a five-star Rice-a-Roni (rtmcallrightsreservedpatentpending) knockoff with four, count ’em, four ingredients. I did a little math (yeah, I used Excel — shut up!), threw the ingredients on the trusty and ironic Frigidaire stove, and took a bite. Then my tongue went all happy and licked me all over my face.

Here’s my not-exactly-four-ingredient version of the recipe:

1 cup dry quinoa
1/2 cup vermicelli, spaghetti, or other thin pasta
14.5 ounces (just under 2 cups) flavored broth or water
(if using water, add a bouillon cube or two)
a clove or two of minced garlic
1 TB Earth Balance or olive oil or some other tasty fat
optional – a few shakes of parsley flakes, salt, pepper, and/or anything else you might add to rice

1. Soak the quinoa in a bunch of water for 15 minutes or so, then rinse it really well.
2. Break the pasta into 1/2″ pieces.
3. Throw the fat in a pot over medium-high heat.
4. Stir in the pasta and quinoa, coating them with the fat.
5. Stir frequently until the pasta browns a little. A few of the quinoa grains may pop and/or brown.
6. Stir in the liquid, garlic, and bouillon, if using.
7. Bring it to a boil, then drop it down to simmer.
8. Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
9. Take off heat.
10. Wait 5 minutes.
11. Serve with damned near anything.

Serves 4.